Healing from loss has required tapping into resources I never knew I had. I often found inspiration in unexpected places. Clinging to the idea of hope in the essential goodness of life and the positive flow of healing was not easy, but I found even my darkest moments held promise if I remained open to possibility. This uplifting poem by Emily Dickinson expresses the universal quality of hope. Hope Is the Thing With FeathersHope is the thing with feathers –That…
Last week, while reorganizing the closet in my art studio, I found several boxes of greeting cards. One box contained every card my husband had sent me, and the other had every card I had sent him. We used to send each other many cards, and it made me realize how much I miss that connection we shared. Part of me wanted to keep every card, but another part knew that reorganizing was supposed to help me move forward with…
It has been essential for me to recognize and allow the uncomfortable and painful emotions triggered by grief. During therapy, we frequently discussed the challenge of acknowledging these emotions while striving to balance them with positives. I found this practice reassuring, whether grappling with sorrow, anger, or fear. I would state aloud what I felt and whatever positive emotion or quality I could pair with it.Some examples are:“I feel sad AND hopeful.” “I feel angry AND compassionate.”“I am afraid AND…
While I was in acute grief immediately following my husband’s death, it was vital for me to remember that though it was unimaginable at the time, I wouldn’t always be in such pain. I had to foster the belief that, at some point, there would be relief from the ever-present grip of loss and grief. Beginning with moments of lightness, then perhaps an hour or two, I began to see that my life would and could eventually emerge from the…
Among all the emotions connected with loss, anger was the most challenging. My husband, even when confronted with what turned out to be a terminal illness, told me that he seldom felt angry. He logically approached life, stating, “It’s just bad luck.” On the contrary, I found it difficult to accept the unfairness of his suffering and the randomness of the universe. In the months following his death, I felt both anger and grief. I often felt envious when I…
The journey of grieving and healing takes unexpected twists and turns. Painful triggers can appear just when we think we’re making progress. It was after one of these moments in my normally well-organized life that I created this piece. Just when I thought I was on the right track, I encountered an unexpected dead end. This loss added to the grief of my husband’s passing, making the situation feel overwhelming for a while. After shedding many tears, writing in my…
Kintsugi is the Japanese art of repairing broken pottery with varnish infused with gold. When I sewed this broken heart from red felt and stitched a golden seam to fix it, I was reminded of A Kintsugi Life, a website that had often inspired me. While pondering how my heart was healing, I remembered our family heirloom cookie jar, which my husband had repaired years ago. Examining the jar was a powerful reminder of his meticulous care in putting it…
I have found that gratitude is another antidote to overwhelm and despair. When I began my gratitude practice many years ago, I found inspiration in a little book titled “Attitudes of Gratitude” by M.J. Ryan. The book is packed with inspirational reading and notes on feeling grateful. Practicing gratitude every day has helped me immensely, even during the difficult times of my husband’s illness and passing. After drawing, coloring, and cutting out the pair of hands on this canvas, I…
I found one antidote to overwhelm was quiet. Inviting quiet might seem like a simple thing, but allowing myself to settle into the silent time I needed was not easy. When I was grieving, I wished to seek distractions to avoid facing my pain rather than sitting with my wounded heart and listening to what it had to tell me. Now, I have come to appreciate the value of silence, which brings me comfort and inspiration. I suppose it has…
Loss of any kind can be overwhelming. The feelings of overwhelm showed up in different ways for me. At first, I was in shock and couldn’t truly comprehend that my husband was gone. I knew it on one level but struggled to accept the reality for many months. There was the initial shock of loss, during which my mind couldn’t fathom that my husband was gone. I knew it on one level, but struggled to actually come to terms with…
I felt the need to gather positive thoughts fairly early in my grieving. The old expression “Feather Your Nest” kept coming to mind, so I composed this little poem to express my feelings. Feather a nest where your heart can restLined with blessings soft as down.Moisten with tears over the yearsYou are never truly alone. As I wrote the poem, I remembered a small nest I’d had leftover from a craft project years before. After covering a canvas square with…