Last week, while reorganizing the closet in my art studio, I found several boxes of greeting cards. One box contained every card my husband had sent me, and the other had every card I had sent him. We used to send each other many cards, and it made me realize how much I miss that connection we shared. Part of me wanted to keep every card, but another part knew that reorganizing was supposed to help me move forward with…
It has been essential for me to recognize and allow the uncomfortable and painful emotions triggered by grief. During therapy, we frequently discussed the challenge of acknowledging these emotions while striving to balance them with positives. I found this practice reassuring, whether grappling with sorrow, anger, or fear. I would state aloud what I felt and whatever positive emotion or quality I could pair with it.Some examples are:“I feel sad AND hopeful.” “I feel angry AND compassionate.”“I am afraid AND…
While I was in acute grief immediately following my husband’s death, it was vital for me to remember that though it was unimaginable at the time, I wouldn’t always be in such pain. I had to foster the belief that, at some point, there would be relief from the ever-present grip of loss and grief. Beginning with moments of lightness, then perhaps an hour or two, I began to see that my life would and could eventually emerge from the…
Among all the emotions connected with loss, anger was the most challenging. My husband, even when confronted with what turned out to be a terminal illness, told me that he seldom felt angry. He logically approached life, stating, “It’s just bad luck.” On the contrary, I found it difficult to accept the unfairness of his suffering and the randomness of the universe. In the months following his death, I felt both anger and grief. I often felt envious when I…