Loss of any kind can be overwhelming. The feelings of overwhelm showed up in different ways for me. At first, I was in shock and couldn’t truly comprehend that my husband was gone. I knew it on one level but struggled to accept the reality for many months.

There was the initial shock of loss, during which my mind couldn’t fathom that my husband was gone. I knew it on one level, but struggled to actually come to terms with the reality for many months.

I experienced a range of emotions after his death, some rational and others not. I kept replaying the hours leading to his passing in my mind, expecting the images to stop appearing, but they didn’t. I faced the daily triggers, some unexpected, that would tilt my balance, and I struggled to fill the ever-looming void in my life. Sleepless nights, constant worry, and crushing sorrow sometimes exhausted me.

I created this piece on a day when I was feeling depleted and sad. I smudged the background with dark paints, accenting it with silver powder. Using the sole of an old shoe as a stamp, I imprinted the tread over a broken feather, symbolizing how defeated I felt. I added the scarlet sparkle of an Austrian crystal to represent a drop of blood, a glimmer of hope, and the recognition that this feeling of defeat would eventually lead to something more positive.