We often need to draw on our inner strength and resilience to face whatever life brings our way. I have discovered that creating art and leading a meaningful life after a loss requires me to “show up,” whether confronting a blank canvas or any other challenge. It involves being receptive to the whisperings of my heart and remaining open to inspiration, even when it seems elusive. Sometimes, it consists of sifting through uncomfortable feelings to find a tiny sparkle of…
I’ve always wanted to listen to my heart, but it wasn’t until I began to heal from the most traumatic loss of my life that I truly started to hear what my heart was telling me. Now, I’m following a path guided by its messages. Although the path is not clearly defined, an essential part of being the queen of my heart involves taking the time and giving myself the space needed to figure things out. This means practicing self-compassion…
This miniature canvas emerged from my quest for my unique true north. During this journey, I discovered I can honor and care for myself without needing permission or relying on anyone else. Initially, I viewed self-care as well, just plain selfish, but I began to realize it was essential for healing from loss. Instead of associating self-care with being self-absorbed, I eventually understood that I could better connect with and reach out to others by taking care of my own…
“True north is guidance, your orienting point, your fixed point in a spinning world that helps you stay on track. It’s your internal compass unique to you and only you, representing who you are at your deepest level. True north is a sense of being at home within yourself. What feels good to you at your core is your true north. When you find your true north, you discover your authentic self. It’s a combination of your purpose and your beliefs. You…
I’ve never readily embraced change. Admittedly, some changes are more difficult than others. Though I’d faced loss before, my husband’s death transformed my life in ways I never could have predicted. As a teacher, autumn meant gearing up for a new school year. No matter how long I taught, each year I approached the first day of school with anxiety and a touch of panic. And yet, by the time the first day was half over, I wondered what all…
Even though I don’t follow a specific religion, I have always been intrigued by the concept of faith. I have encouraged myself to believe in the positive energy available if we are open to it. During my husband’s illness, we held onto the idea of taith, hoping for strength and healing. After he died, I made a deliberate effort to discover and nurture the remaining spark of life within myself, which gravitates towards healing, whether we are conscious of it…
Liminal space is a gap or threshold between one thing ending and the beginning of another. While grieving my husband’s death, I initially found these seemingly empty periods disconcerting. I perceived myself as stalled or stuck, often facing the question of “What’s next?” with no answer in sight. However, with time, I saw these dormant periods as fertile ground for insight and change. The key was accepting the stillness and being patient with myself as I anticipated the next change….
Last week, while reorganizing the closet in my art studio, I found several boxes of greeting cards. One box contained every card my husband had sent me, and the other had every card I had sent him. We used to send each other many cards, and it made me realize how much I miss that connection we shared. Part of me wanted to keep every card, but another part knew that reorganizing was supposed to help me move forward with…
It has been essential for me to recognize and allow the uncomfortable and painful emotions triggered by grief. During therapy, we frequently discussed the challenge of acknowledging these emotions while striving to balance them with positives. I found this practice reassuring, whether grappling with sorrow, anger, or fear. I would state aloud what I felt and whatever positive emotion or quality I could pair with it.Some examples are:“I feel sad AND hopeful.” “I feel angry AND compassionate.”“I am afraid AND…
While I was in acute grief immediately following my husband’s death, it was vital for me to remember that though it was unimaginable at the time, I wouldn’t always be in such pain. I had to foster the belief that, at some point, there would be relief from the ever-present grip of loss and grief. Beginning with moments of lightness, then perhaps an hour or two, I began to see that my life would and could eventually emerge from the…