While I was in acute grief immediately following my husband’s death, it was vital for me to remember that though it was unimaginable at the time, I wouldn’t always be in such pain. I had to foster the belief that, at some point, there would be relief from the ever-present grip of loss and grief. Beginning with moments of lightness, then perhaps an hour or two, I began to see that my life would and could eventually emerge from the…
Among all the emotions connected with loss, anger was the most challenging. My husband, even when confronted with what turned out to be a terminal illness, told me that he seldom felt angry. He logically approached life, stating, “It’s just bad luck.” On the contrary, I found it difficult to accept the unfairness of his suffering and the randomness of the universe. In the months following his death, I felt both anger and grief. I often felt envious when I…
The journey of grieving and healing takes unexpected twists and turns. Painful triggers can appear just when we think we’re making progress. It was after one of these moments in my normally well-organized life that I created this piece. Just when I thought I was on the right track, I encountered an unexpected dead end. This loss added to the grief of my husband’s passing, making the situation feel overwhelming for a while. After shedding many tears, writing in my…
Kintsugi is the Japanese art of repairing broken pottery with varnish infused with gold. When I sewed this broken heart from red felt and stitched a golden seam to fix it, I was reminded of A Kintsugi Life, a website that had often inspired me. While pondering how my heart was healing, I remembered our family heirloom cookie jar, which my husband had repaired years ago. Examining the jar was a powerful reminder of his meticulous care in putting it…
I have found that gratitude is another antidote to overwhelm and despair. When I began my gratitude practice many years ago, I found inspiration in a little book titled “Attitudes of Gratitude” by M.J. Ryan. The book is packed with inspirational reading and notes on feeling grateful. Practicing gratitude every day has helped me immensely, even during the difficult times of my husband’s illness and passing. After drawing, coloring, and cutting out the pair of hands on this canvas, I…
I found one antidote to overwhelm was quiet. Inviting quiet might seem like a simple thing, but allowing myself to settle into the silent time I needed was not easy. When I was grieving, I wished to seek distractions to avoid facing my pain rather than sitting with my wounded heart and listening to what it had to tell me. Now, I have come to appreciate the value of silence, which brings me comfort and inspiration. I suppose it has…
Loss of any kind can be overwhelming. The feelings of overwhelm showed up in different ways for me. At first, I was in shock and couldn’t truly comprehend that my husband was gone. I knew it on one level but struggled to accept the reality for many months. There was the initial shock of loss, during which my mind couldn’t fathom that my husband was gone. I knew it on one level, but struggled to actually come to terms with…
I felt the need to gather positive thoughts fairly early in my grieving. The old expression “Feather Your Nest” kept coming to mind, so I composed this little poem to express my feelings. Feather a nest where your heart can restLined with blessings soft as down.Moisten with tears over the yearsYou are never truly alone. As I wrote the poem, I remembered a small nest I’d had leftover from a craft project years before. After covering a canvas square with…
Taoists believe that there is continuity that flows through everything in the universe. It touches and connects everything in all times, places and dimensions. They believe this continuity is present in all parts of us including our body and spirit. It connects us to everyone and everything within and around us.The Taoists call this connectivity The Golden Thread. It is a spiritual concept that binds us all. I was introduced to this idea while accompanying my husband to his demanding…
I stitched this little heart to symbolize the usually unexpected triggers that seemed to pierce my heart during the healing process. These were often in the form of an innocent or casual comment, an intrusive memory, or even a tiny detail occurring in everyday life. During those times, my heart often felt like a pincushion, and it still does occasionally. However, I made an effort to acknowledge and nurture the hope I held within. The small feather I found in…